Exploring your inner self as a mumma

After having a baby I felt a creativity surge. As a new mother, your life is transformed in so many ways, everything is new and it is a time of self discovery as you journey through motherhood. I think it is important to model authenticity and self expression to your children. Although I was slightly afraid that I would lose my sense of self after having a child, I have found myself reflecting on my own life experiences, values and identity while navigating parenthood.

I don’t subscribe to mainstream styles or trends, therefore I fall into the alternative lifestyle grouping. Alternative lifestyles are made up of sub groups, free loving hippies, hipsters, gothic (or the many subcultures of gothic), are some examples.

Like many people I don’t fall neatly into one category. Whether that be internal or external, I have varied tastes. I have often felt conflicted because of this, however I have learned to love being unique and staying true to my individual likes and dislikes.

Externally I don’t always portray the inner me. Unfortunately due to limited finances and practicality I end up purchasing relatively plain clothing from cheaper outlets to wear on a daily basis. Instead I am clad in mostly all black and basic maternity clothing allowing for easy nursing. Maybe this is something I need to rectify.

I have a passion for dark beauty, horror, Victorian Gothic, witches, and paganism. Since I first went to a Gothic nightclub at age 19 I discovered a love of everything dark, including music, film, clothing and lifestyle tidbits. I interlace my love of darkness with my love of nature, a connection with the inner self with nature is a pagan belief system in which I somewhat subscribe to.

Mist filled forest landscapes and twilight cemetery photography are examples of art that inspires me. As a child I had a fascination with ghosts and the paranormal. I would set up film devices in an attempt to capture ghosts on film and leave recording devices playing when I left the room to capture a sound. I still have an avid interest in the paranormal despite realistically not being a believer. I guess it’s the aesthetic.

My love of nature also spirals into my hippy side. Natural therapies including crystals, aromatherapy, herbalism, and tarot would fall into my nature loving, tree hugging interests. Buddhism is also a belief system that I highly value and draw upon elements to utilise every day, particularly that of mindfulness and meditation. Plants inspire me and it’s all that I eat. Veganism is predominately an ethical standpoint for me, however it has provided me with an appreciation for plants and wellness. Their healing properties still astounds me.

I have always had a love of learning and find that reading and informative podcast listening has been manageable with a baby. While he sleeps or while I feed I listen to podcasts that inspire, entertain and educate. I recommend this to other mums who miss learning. There are also some great podcasts on parenting and baby related topics that I have found incredibly helpful. Research and learning about parenting has been fundamental to my life as a mother because I like to be informed and make decisions based on a wealth of knowledge.

My favourite podcasts:

The Psychology Podcast – http://scottbarrykaufman.com/podcast/

The Rich Roll Podcast – http://www.richroll.com/category/podcast/

S-Town – https://stownpodcast.org/

Philosophize this! – http://philosophizethis.org/

While I was pregnant I remember being scared that I would lose this part of myself, that I would feel obliged to conform to stereotypical mum attire and interests. This comes from seeing some women lose their identity through motherhood, however recently I have seen many inspiring mothers staying true to their inner self and guiding their children in a cultured and creative manner. I think it is so important to continue to be true to yourself while parenting. I believe that this models many great qualities such as self compassion, creativity, strength and critical thinking.

I have been told that it is selfish to take care of yourself or care about your own interests while being a Mum but I think it is selfish not to. Through self care and taking time for your own needs and interests, the baby is happier because you are a happier mum and have more to give.

To all the other new and even experienced mummas out there, stay true to yourself and do not be afraid of self expression. Your bubbas will only benefit from this. Do something today to nurture yourself. For me that is dabbling with herbalism, creative writing and learning yoga. I am currently listening to podcasts on philosophy, crime and psychology. What interests you?